


Suffering Pigeons

by ashgret



Category: Spies In Disguise (2019)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gay, Killian and Lance are exs, Killian was an abusive boyfriend, M/M, Short & Sweet, Walter just wants to be a good boyfriend, lance has ptsd, lance is depressed, this is kind of an alternate universe, where the attack on kyzerkastan? never happened and Lance and Killian had dated in the past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:21:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23603710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashgret/pseuds/ashgret
Summary: Lance and Walter have been dating for almost a year now and Walter wants to be the best boyfriend he can. However, Lance has been acting strange lately and Walter is concerned for his boyfriend. Meanwhile, Killian has escaped from jail and wants his ex-boyfriend back.
Relationships: Killian/Lance Sterling, Walter Beckett/Lance Sterling
Comments: 8
Kudos: 60





	1. Chapter 1

"Kimora is on the roof!" Yelled Lance after taking out several yakuza members.

"Ok," began Walter as he pulled the pigeon serum out of his backpack. "Here catch!"

Walter tossed Lance the serum, and Lance being the cool guy he is, caught it without even trying.

"Thanks babe," Lance smirked making Walter blush.

The two spies were currently on a mission to recapture an escaped Katsu Kimora. The gang leader had plans to pull the sun closer to Earth to get a quicker tan which of course was very stupid and lethal to literally all humanity. Fortunately, Walter and Lance were hot on his tail.

Lance drank the serum and turned into a pigeon. "You finish off down here and kill em' with kindness!" He then flew off to the roof leaving Walter to defend himself with his wide array of non-lethal weapons.

On the roof, Kimora was screeching at his yakuza members. "Hurry up! We have to grab the sun before it sets! I have to look tan for that party with Beyonce later tonight! I will not be made a fool!"

The yakuza members, panicked by the boss's demands, quickly scrambled over to a machine. They mashed several buttons and targeted the yellow orb in the sky. Not having a mind of their own, they set the machine to grab the sun. Kimora smiled greedily, happy that he was going to look good for Beyonce's party tonight.

"No one can stop me!" He chuckled to himself.

"Ahem," Lance cleared his throat.

Kimora spun around quickly only to be face to face with his arch-nemesis, Lance Sterling.

"Sterling!"

Lance pulled out the "un-birding" bow that returned him back to human form and placed it on his chest. "Now," he took a step forward. "How stupid or high do you have to be, to think that you can just grab the sun out of the sky? I mean you gotta be fish stupid to think that'll actually work. Also, keep in mind they have a three-second memory, a lot longer than yours."

With each step Lance took forward, Kimora took a step back. Nervously, he glanced back to his yakuza members for help, but they seemed too be entranced in the sun grabbing machine to assist him. He turned back to Sterling, panicked. He had to think fast. He needed a diversion, a way of escape. Kimora supposed he could always get a tan at the local tanning salon, but even he knew that finding a perfect fit booth would be hard for a big boy like him. However, there was not much that he could do now. He knew that a standoff with Lance Sterling never ended well for the bad guy.

"Alright," Lance began as he prepped one of Walter's non-lethal weapons. "Time to go sleepy night-night!"

"No!" Without thinking, Kimora reached into his pocket hoping to grab his gun. Unfortunately, he reached into the wrong pocket and pulled out a laser pointer instead.

"Haha, now what are you going do with that thing? Blind me?"

Kimora smiled eerily. "Exactly." He then shined the light right in Lance's eyes, momentarily staggering him. Kimora then turned around, pulled out a phone and called in a helicopter from his other yakuza members. He couldn't care less for those who were fumbling with the sun machine, Lance wouldn't be out for long and trying to save them would be a waste of his time.

The helicopter arrived immediately, this was Kimora's chance! He clumsily jumped onto the helicopter. "Wow, Sterling! You didn't even try to catch me! Looks your like your losing your abilities!"  
Kimora turned to the member piloting the helicopter. "Now, take me to Beyonce!"

"But sir, we're in Japan and her party's all the way in Cincinnati-"

"Does it look like I care? FLY!" They then flew away.

Lance wasn't feeling too hot. Why couldn't he move? His body felt hot and cold all at the same time. The feeling was hitting him in waves. He was sweating profusely and his heart would not stop pounding. He felt sick to his stomach and knees like jelly. Why couldn't he move? Suddenly, in his vision, he saw red lights. They were blinding. He couldn't look away even though they hurt to look at. There was a voice, a familiar voice.

"Walter?" The name could barely escape from his lips. 

No, it wasn't Walter. It was far deeper. Much darker. A lot grittier. The sound of this voice pierced Lance's ears. His whole body tensed with blood-curdling fear.

"K-Killian?"

"Lance." The voice said quietly.

"No..."

"Lance," the voice said a bit louder. This time it was much closer.

"Please," Lance whimpered.

"Lance!" The voice roared, it was as if it was right next to him.

"Stop!" Lance screamed, falling to his knees and burying his face in his hands.

"Lance? What's wrong?"

Suddenly the deep, gritty voice subsided turning into a far gentler one. It was Walter. Lance immediately looked up to see a concerned brown-haired boy. 

"Lance, speak to me! What's wrong, what happened?" He dropped to his knees and began hugging the larger spy.

"Wh-Where's Kimora?" Lance barely mumbled."Where did he go?"

"Lance that's not important! What's important is you!" Walter held Lance's face in his hands. "Are you alright!"

Lance sat back and looked around. His head was pounding and his heart was still racing. "Y-yeah, I'm alright. I'm good."  
Slowly he stood up, dusting the gravel off of his clothes. Not wanting to worry Walter, he quickly morphed back to his cool and controlled self. "Thanks, Walter. However, those four guys over there aren't going to be alright in the next five seconds."

The remaining yakuza members looked at Sterling, then to themselves, then back to Sterling. Thinking the same thing, they all just jumped off the roof to their demise leaving Lance and Walter wide-eyed.

"Oh my goodness," Walter said slack-jawed.

"Well," Lance clasped his hands together. "I think they just committed seppuku."

"That was dar-" but before Walter could finish, Lance planted his lips onto his own. The smaller spy melted into his lover's chest, wrapping his arms around his neck. Walter then slowly broke the passionate kiss. "I'm glad that you're okay," he said dazed. 

"Yeah, me too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Likes and comments are appreciated!


	2. Chapter 2

Kimora got away and that was not good for the spies, like at all. The two returned back to their headquarters to give the bad news. They were chewed out pretty hard by their boss, but at least now work was over. The two then returned home. They have been living together at Walter's place for the last six months. It wasn't as lavish as Lance's lifestyle, but it was quaint and nice. Also, there was no rent that needed to be paid on a daily basis.

"Oof," Walter stretched. "She was mad at us today, but she better not worry because the dream team is definitely going to get him next time! Anyway, so what do you want for dinner, I was thinking I could make-" Walter rambled on.

Lance slumped down on the couch, still reeling from the strange occurrence that happened earlier. His head was still pounding and he didn't even feel present. Whenever Walter spoke, it just sounded like static. He tuned Walter out and began to ponder. It all started after he got hit in the face with that light. That stupid light. Why did it bother him so much? He couldn't seem to remember, but he could remember the voice. Killian's voice. It struck him so hard. It was paralyzing.

Lance tried to move his thoughts away from his ex-lover, but it refused. Lance remembered the man connected to the dark voice and how they met. It was almost over a decade ago. Killian was a new recruit for the agency. 

He was smart.  
Savy.  
Tall.  
Mysterious, but mostly he was just very hot and Lance could not deny that he was attracted to that aspect of him the most. They were paired off on many missions together. Killian mostly just kept to himself, doing no more than what was asked of him. That meant no talking, no getting to know each other, no sharing of life stories, no bonding whatsoever. However, that all changed on one particular mission. 

They were sent on a recon mission in London. It was going as usual. Lance and Killian would get to where they needed to be, fight if they had to, then go their separate ways, but this time was different. During the middle of their mission, a building collapsed trapping the two spies underneath the rubble. For hours they were stuck under there with no one but themselves.

"No! No!" Lance coughed. "Lance Sterling will not die like this!" He fought through the rubble.

"You need to stop," Killian stated gravely. "Or else we'll suffocate under here faster."

Lance didn't listen, continuing to thrash and swing through the rubble. "I. Have. Got. To. Get. Out. Of. Here! I've got to!"

Killian pulled Lance's arm, stopping him and pulling him back. A large piece of rubble, the size of both spies combined then fell overhead, almost crushing Lance.

"Look at what you've done. That was our only means of air."

"I'm sorry, I'm panicking! Unlike you, I fear death!"

"You don't think I fear death?"

"Nah man, you look like you've seen some stuff and I'm not judging, I'm not judging, but you've got a stone-face, man."

Killian chuckled taking Lance by surprise. "Huh, I never thought I'd see you laugh before?"

"Well, you really don't know a lot about me," Killian moved closer to the other spy. "You'd ought to be more observant."

Lance felt his heart skip a beat. "What exactly is happening here?

"Something I want." Killian moved even closer. Lance could feel his breath on his lips.

"Well, I want air...."

"Well then, let me give you some," Killian whispered as he placed his lips onto Lance's. 

He was very confused, but not upset. Why was Killian kissing him? Was he really just trying to give him air or was there more? Did he like the kiss? Before any of Lance's questions could be answered, Killian broke the kiss and stared deeply into the other's eyes. 

"I love you, Lance Sterling. I always have. From the day I first saw you, I knew I had to make you mine."

Lance, at a loss for words, stared dreamily back at the other spy. He couldn't even think properly. Lance decided to let his actions control him. 

The two went back to kissing. Violently, pressing their faces onto the other. Biting lips and licking tounges. They held each other, warm in the other's embrace until help finally came. 

It was good. All good. Until it wasn't.

Killian was only good for so long. Lance didn't want to see his bad side, but eventually, he couldn't lie to himself anymore. 

It started off with the lies. The "I promise not to yell anymore's" and the "I won't do it again's."

Then the possessiveness. The "Where are you going's?" and the "why were you with him's" and the "where were you's?"

Then the controlling-ness. The "you have to stay with me's" and the "you can't go here's" and the "you can't do that's."

And finally, the beatings. 

The punches and the apologies.

The kickings and the forgiveness.

The trust and the pleading.

It was Lance's final straw, he had to break it off, but Killian didn't want to. He threatened to kill Lance, to hurt the agency's employees, but Lance knew that it was all lies. Until it wasn't. Killian went rouge. Buying tech from Kimora to wreak havoc after the breakup. He wanted Lance to hurt just like him, he wanted to show him that he was stronger, but mostly he just wanted him to himself. Killian posed a major threat, but fortunately, he was stopped and incapacitated before any real damage could be done and it was thanks to Lance and Walter.

Walter.

Walter!

Lance snapped out of his funk, remembering that Walter was rambling on about something. He looked over to see that Walter was in fact, still talking. Lance chuckled to himself. Walter sure was different, he was nerdy, goofy, and a bit tacky, but he was his and Lance loved that.

Lance sat up, "Hey chatty Kathy, why don't you stop talking and come over here?"

"Oh-oh, sure!" Walter jumped, moving over to the couch and snuggling into Lance's chest. "The popcorn fruit is almost ready!"

"The what now?"

"The popcorn fruit! It's a scientific combination of fruit and popcorn because it's scientifically proven that popcorn makes people happier and that fruit makes your stomach happier! It sounds a little like drugs, but it isn't....kind of. Weren't you listening? We were having a really good conversation?"

"I don't know what the heck this boy just said, but I love him," Lance then gave Walter a kiss on the forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Likes and comments are appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

"Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! It's today! It's today," Walter whispered excitedly as he looked over to his sleeping partner in their bed. 

"Our one-year anniversary!" Walter spoke cutely as he snuggled his nose into Lance's cheek. "You are going to be so surprised! I literally have the best day planned out ahead of us, you are going to love it! First, I'm gonna make you a special breakfast in bed, then we're going to feed the pigeons at the park, and then I'll take you out to this super fancy seafood place and give you the ultimate prese-" Walter stopped talking, panic filling his chest. "Oh my gosh, I forgot the present!"

"Huh, wha-," Lance's eyes fluttered in his sleep. 

"Go back to bed!" Walter shouted, only further awakening Lance. "N-nothing is happening," he sang. "I'm, I'm just sleep talking!"

"Ah, uh-huh? I'm going back to bed."

"Okay good, you do that!" Walter gave Lance a kiss on the cheek, jumped out of the bed, went to the bathroom to freshen up then rushed downstairs. 

Walter couldn't seem to believe that he and Lance had actually been dating for a year now. That if it weren't for that one special mission, they would have never got to meet each other. A whole year of adventures definitely deserved an awesome present, but what could he possibly get Lance to remind him of such a fantastic time?

"Hey Lovey," said Walter as he entered the kitchen area.

Lovey looked up at her roommate happily.

"I think I need your help," Walter began exasperatedly.

Lovey continued to look at Walter as he began to pace around the room.

"So, you know that today is a very special day for me and Lance right? We've been together for a whole year now and I want to show him how much that means to me!"

Lovey rolled her eyes silently.

"Oh come on Lovey, don't be like that! I know you might be a little jealous of me and Lance, but you're honestly the only person I feel I can come to right now."

Huffing, Lovey flew over to the living room window drapes. She then used her beak to climb onto them. Walter tilted his head in momentary confusion as he watched her quickly climb up the drapes. Once Lovey got to the top, she flew back down to the kitchen area and landed by a confused Walter. She looked at him and gave him a sly smile with her eyes as Walter slowly connected the dots.

"Really," he began, pondering. "You think he'd like that as a gift?"

Lovey vigorously nodded her head. 

"Well, I mean it seems a bit random....but I suppose you are the love expert here!" 

Lovey noded again giving Walter the assurance he needed to go and buy the bizarre gift. He then hugged his roommate and scurried off to the local store. Oddly enough the gift was being sold there and at a very cheap price, however, it was only being sold in one color, red. Walter was sure Lance with that, maybe it would clash a bit with his outfit, but it never hurt to try new things. After purchasing the gift, he came home and, with Lovey, made a special anniversary breakfast complete with flowers and doilies and hearts. He then carried it up to his sleeping lover. 

"Wakey, wakey, eggs and bacey!" Walter chirped happily.

"Agh, come on sweetheart," Lance gurgled. "I still need approximately 3 more hours of beauty sleep."

"Yeah, I know, but, look at what I made," Walter gushed as he placed the tray of breakfast foods onto his lap.

"Wow," Lance chuckled as he sat up groggily. "Now that's hot, that's real hot."

"Thank you," Walter blushed, shoulder raised.

"No, really it's hot. It's like burning my thighs."

"Oh! Sorry!" Walter then jumped upon the larger spy to grab the tray. 

"Careful! Careful these are new bedsheets!" Lance yelped.

"Don't worry, I got it!"

"No, no Walter I don't think you do!"

Walter's hand slipped trying to grab the tray of breakfast foods which caused all of the plates and decorations to fall onto the floor. Oh no. The day was already off to an awful start. All Walter wanted to do was show Lance how much he appreciated him in breakfast form, but now his sad attempt was all over the floor. Perhaps he could salvage it? No, Lance probably didn't have a liking for floor foods. 

"Uh," Walter sighed sadly as he looked at Lance. "I can make more?"

Lance just chuckled. "Nah, Nah, it's okay. This is already a good enough breakfast."

"Really? Because it all just fell on the floor-"

"Well I think I see a better breakfast right here," Lance bit his bottom lip.

Walter blushed, "L-Lance, I don't know how to feel about vore...."

"What the-No! What are you even? Nah, Nah, just come here!" Lance then snatched the smaller spy from the edge of the bed and pulled him to his side. He tickled the sides of his stomach and kissed his neck playfully. Walter giggled and weakly tried to push Lance away. 

"Haha, no no! Stop! We'll have lots of time for this later! Right now we're on an agenda!" Walter choked out between giggles.

"Alright," Lance mumbled between kissing Walter's neck. "By the way, happy anniversary."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Likes and comments are appreciated!


	4. Chapter 4

After the whole breakfast fiasco, Walter and Lance went to go feed the pigeons at the park. There were hundreds upon hundreds of pigeons. Walter was overjoyed, but Lance eh not so much. He did admit that seeing Walter so happy made him happy as well, so he put up with the pigeon poop and the loud chirping. This was for Walter as much as it was for him.

After feeding the pigeons, they went to catch a movie, also ironically about pigeons.

"How many more pigeon themed things are we going to do today?" Lance asked playfully.

"Oh, this is the last one! It's about these two spies and one of them turns into a pigeon! It's so crazy!" Walter said eagerly.

Lance just stared at him.

Once the movie ended, Walter left the theatre excitedly, ready to show Lance their next destination. They strolled down the street, hand in hand. It was getting late. Walter giddily rambled on about this and that and Lance listened intently. 

Walter is so great, Lance thought to himself. Absolutely adorable, I'm glad that I have him. 

Lance tightened his grasp on Walter's hand as he looked at him lovingly. This was good. This was really good. He never wanted this happiness to end. 

"We're here," Walter gleefully shouted, hands raised above his head.

They were standing outside of a very fancy looking restaurant. With intricate designs and lavish decorations caking the outside facade. On the inside, it was lit by red lights. Lance felt himself tense up a bit.

"Uh, are you sure this isn't another bird-themed place," Lance began warily. "Because I don't know about you, but I'm not really feeling it...."

"No, I told you that the movie was the last bird thing we'd be doing today." Walter then gently grabbed Lance's hand and pulled him into the restaurant. "You're going to love it! It's got like 5 stars on Yelp and everything!"

Once in the restaurant, Lance and Walter were seated under a red-lit light and handed their menus.

"So, what do you think of the place," Walter questioned. "It's pretty fancy huh? I thought about you when picking it out because you're so fancy-"

As Walter rambled on again, Lance felt himself zoning out. His heart was beginning to race again. His head was sweating bullets. Why was it suddenly so hot in here? Why was it suddenly so cold? Lance felt as if his being was going in and out of reality. He was struggling to focus on Walter's many words. It was all started to become static. Why was this happening?

"Hey Lance," Walter placed a hand onto Lance's. "Are you alright?"

Lance jerked up in his seat. "Yeah yeah! It's just really hot in here." He wiped a dribble of sweat from his forehead.

For the first time Walter sat across from the larger spy without a word. Lance knew that Walter knew that something was not right with him. His large eyes quivered with an almost childlike curiosity. He was about to start prying.

"I feel like you've been acting a little strange lately," Walter spoke up as he stared down at Lance's hand. "Like, you've been a little off. Even Lovey has felt it."

"Walter, Lovey is just a bird. I'm fine." Lance stressed, his heartbeat still racing.

"No, you're not! Not since that standoff with Kimora. What really happened?" Walter leaned in closer.

Lance felt his head begin to pound. He really didn't want to do this right now. Not here, not in this place. "Come on Walter, do we have to do this right now? Let's just pick out what we want to eat, alright?"

Walter slowly sat back down in his seat. Clearly, he wasn't going to give up that easily. He sighed, "I-"

The waiter then came back to ask for the pair's drinks, stopping Walter before he could argue anymore. The two ordered and Lance prayed that Walter wouldn't continue to badger him about what was wrong, but of course, he went on.

"I really want you to be okay," Walter continued. "That's all I really want. For you to be happy."

Lance relaxed in his seat. "I am fine, really, I'm just a little hot and tired." He gave a small smile to Walter, who in return gave him a small smile back. 

Walter wasn't sure if he believed Lance, but at the same time, he knew that Lance was stubborn. He looked down at his hands and nodded. "Okay, okay, I'll take your word for it."

Lance continued to smile, finding that his heart was slowly going back to normal and his head was starting to hurt less. "Thank you, Walter."

The waiter then came back with the drinks and the two then ordered their food. Walter was feeling like a failure. He felt as if he still didn't know much about his boyfriend despite having had been together for a year now. All he wanted to do was keep him happy and be the best boyfriend that he could be, but no matter what he did, he couldn't help but feel like he wasn't getting any closer to Lance. Suddenly, it hit him. The present! Of course, that would help better the mood! Walter reached into his pack.

"Uh, Lance," he began lightly. "I was waiting for when we got home, but I think I want to give this to you now."

Walter then pulled a medium-sized box from within his pack and handed it to Lance. "Happy anniversary."

"Ohho, you shouldn't have," Lance began as he examined the box and shook it a little bit.

Walter blushed, "Go on, open it!"

Lance then opened the present, Walter watching attentively. As he took off the lid and peered down into the open box, Lance felt his heart drop into his stomach.

It was a shiny grappling hook, crimson red.

"Do you like it?" Walter questioned happily. "It was more Lovey's idea, but you know, since we're spies and you can turn into a pigeon, I thought that this could be for the times that you don't want to turn into a pigeon! It's like, a quick way of getting onto roofs or something?"

Lance sat there quietly.

"Do...Do you like it?" Walter questioned again, this time a bit concerned. He slowly began to reach for the other spy. "Lance?"

It was a grappling hook, a red grappling hook. 

Red.

Red.

Red!

That was why he reacted the way that he did when he was face to face with Kimora. It was the laser pointer.

It was red.

The lights in the restaurant was red. 

The grappling hook was red.

Killian's robotic hand had a red light.

The restaurant started spinning. Lance tried to stand up, but his legs felt as if they were not there. He could hear Walter screaming, but he couldn't hear what he was saying. Lance stumbled out of his seat and fell into another table. Walter screamed again, but his voice was different. It was dark and gritty. 

Killian.

"No!" Lance screamed out, trying to get up from the table.

The restaurant was still spinning. His heart felt as if it was beating out of his chest. He was going to die, he felt it.

There was a figure before him. It grabbed his arms and shook him.

"No," Lance felt eyes fill with tears. "Stop! Killian, stop!" He begged. "You said you'd stop!"

The figure only grabbed and shook him harder. "Please!"

The red lights were blinding.

The red lights enveloped Lance's vision.

There wasn't anything other than the red lights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Likes and comments are much appreciated! The final two chapters will hopefully be completed some time at the end of this week.


	5. Chapter 5

Lance received the present, but he wasn't happy.

On his face was a look of both confusion, fear, and disgust.

He hates it, Walter thought to himself as his smile faded away. I should have never gotten him that, how could Lovey have been wrong? She's a love expert!

Suddenly, Lance stood up. His face transformed into that of pure horror. He started to scream and stumble about the room. Walter got up too.

"Lance! What's wrong!" He moved over to his distressed partner and attempted to reach out and touch his arm.

"No!" Lance pushed him as he fell into a table.

"Lance," Walter tried again desperately as he watched his partner huddle into a ball. "Lance!"

He ran over to Lance and hugged him tightly. "It's okay! Shhh, It's okay!"

Walter didn't understand what was happening to his partner and it was eating him alive. Lance wasn't alright, it was 100% percent obvious now, but what could Walter do? He continued to hug and shush him as his eyes darted around the restaurant. People were staring, some standing, others making there way over, but Walter didn't care, all that mattered was Lance.

"Excuse me," one bystander piped up. 

Walter glanced at them, defensively. "It's okay, I've got it under control."

The bystander hesitantly moved a bit closer. "I think, he might be having a panic attack? You should tell him to take deep breaths and give him some space."

Walter looked back at the bystander for a moment, then back to Lance. He nodded in compliance, backing away from him. "O-okay Lance, um it's okay. Just breathe, take some deep breaths."

Lance complied, still racking with tears.

"Okay, that's good," the bystander chimed in."Keep doing that."

Walter patted Lance's back as he continued to take deep breaths.

"Keep doing that."

* * * * *

They were at home now. It had been hours since Lance's panic attack. He was still on edge, but was calming down. He was resting in their shared bed, Walter lying down next to him. The smaller spy had been quiet since they had come home, which was very much unlike him. Lance had tried to revert back to his cool and controlled self after coming out of his panic attack, but this time it didn't work. Walter wanted to know what was happening and Lance knew that he wouldn't be able to keep quiet much longer. Lance sighed.

"We have to talk now, don't we," he questioned as he turned to face Walter.

The smaller spy nodded silently as he too turned to face Lance. 

"Well," Lance scratched the back of his head. "I guess I'm just remembering some bad things that happened."

He stopped, wondering if that much was enough for Walter, but by judging the look in his curious and sad eyes, he knew that he had to keep going. 

"I don't know why I'm thinking about these things now. I can't explain it, I can't even begin to wrap my mind around it, but," he sighed as he clenched his fists.

Walter took notice of Lance's inability to speak and placed a hand upon his partner's shoulder. "Please Lance," he began in a soft voice. "Take your time."

Lance took a few deep breaths and unclenched his fists. "Okay," he swallowed as he gathered himself.

"You know how I used to date Killian, right?"

Walter tensed as he remembered the events that had occurred almost a year ago. He nodded. He knew that he and Lance used to date and that their relationship wasn't well. Lance never went into the specifics of what had happened to cause their break up, but he did know that it was bad. Walter also knew that their relationship was a part of the reason why Killian had gone rogue. He was possessive and believed that Lance had belonged to him. 

"And you know how our relationship was bad?"

Walter nodded again. "You said he was possessive."

"He was. Controlling too. Sometimes physical."

Walter's stomach churned. "But it's okay now, right? He's locked up and he's not here and he can't hurt you anymore."

"I know," Lance chuckled weakly as he turned his face away from Walter. "But it doesn't feel like it."

There was a moment of silence. Walter continued to look at Lance, the hand that was on his shoulder now gently stroking his entire arm. Walter wasn't sure what to say. He didn't know where to begin. He could feel the pain that was enveloping his partner and it made his heart hurt terribly. All he wanted was for Lance to be happy, he just wanted him to be pleased. If there was any way that he could take the fear and pain away he would have in an instant. There was no telling why all of this had started and there was no telling when it would end. All Walter could do was listen and attempt to comfort Lance in any way he could and it was killing him.

He rested his head on Lance's chest as the silence continued.

"Lance," Walter began slowly. "Thank you for telling me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Likes and Comments are much appreciated. Sorry for only posting one chapter this week I have been caught up with school work, but I will try to post the last one at the end of next week! :)


	6. Chapter 6

It was 3 am and Lance could hardly sleep. Walter was lying next to him, his head resting on his chest, body small and fragile. Though they had spoken about what happened last night and the feelings brought with it, Lance was still feeling something. He couldn’t describe it. A feeling. Walter snuggled himself into Lance’s chest some more.

Walter.

Lance loved him to death. He wanted to be with him forever. No sadness. No pain. Just their love. However, Lance still couldn't shake the feeling of that something. What was it? 

Lance tossed and turned in bed. Trying to get comfortable and escape from his thoughts. As much as he tried, he could not escape into his dreams. He lied in bed and stared up at the ceiling. Blankly.

Maybe I just need some air, Lance thought to himself. He moved himself to the corner of the bed and sat there, breathing. Slowly he got up and stumbled out of the room, leaving Walter alone.

Lance walked outside. He needed to clear his head and the brisk early morning air was perfect for that. He knew why he couldn't sleep, but he just didn't want to think about it. His mind was blocking it out, but why? He knew that he had to face this thing in order to feel free. In order to be happy with Walter. He had to, right? Lance stopped walking as he stared down at the sidewalk pavement. Perhaps a drive would have been better. No, there wouldn't have been a difference. Lance sighed.

It was Killian. It was his fault. If he had never-if he had never what?

If Killian had just-just what?

Lance couldn't figure out why he was having so much trouble with this. It was over now. Killian was gone, but why couldn't he feel safe? Why did the thoughts keep on coming? Why did he still feel his presence hanging over him? It was like an anchor, weighing him down and he couldn't remove it. It was out of his grasp, out of his reach. Just too heavy and unwieldy to be handled. Just the thought of him made him feel panic. And Lance Sterling did not panic.

Lance needed some sort of closure, that much he knew, but how to go about doing that he wasn't so sure. Lance took a deep breath and began walking again. He just needed to clear his head. As Lance continued walking, a red car pulled up beside him and began to roll down its window.

* * * * *

Walter wasn't asleep when Lance left. He saw his partner get up and leave the room. At first, he had assumed that he was just using the bathroom, but after 25 minutes had passed he was sure that he wasn't there. Walter had gotten out of bed and searched the house in hopes of finding Lance. He even woke up Lovey to ask if she had seen him but she hadn't. Walter started to panic. He felt as if Lance's leaving was his fault. He didn't do a good job of reaching out to him. He should've said more. He drove him away. Walter believed that he simply wasn't good enough for him. He had to find him. 

Walter rushed out the door of the house. Maybe Lance needed some air, Walter thought to himself. I'll find him! I have to!

* * * * *

"Long time."

Lance knew that grizzly voice. He knew it's dark and mysterious sound. It couldn't be, how? Lance looked over at the driver. His heart skipped as his body tensed. 

"I wish it was longer," Lance huffed trying to mask his fear.

Killian chuckled slyly, bringing a thumb to his chin. "I missed you."

Lance didn't respond.

"Did you miss me?"

"Ha, what do you think?" Lance clenched his teeth.

"I'm assuming that you did then."

Lance stood silently for a moment as he searched for what to say next. The gleam from the above streetlights bounced off the red car and shined onto Lance. He could feel his heart start to race and his knees begin to feel loose and wobbly. Lance gave a forceful chuckle. "And I was assuming that you'd have been locked up."

"I was," Killian continued on the beat. "But they let me go due to good behavior."

"I find that very hard to believe."

"Aw, don't be so harsh now." Killian opened the car door and stepped out. Lance took half a step back. "I really learned my lesson. That boy you were partnered with, after he saved me, I-I saw the light of my actions."

Lance stood silently, the red car still gleaming. "Yeah, yeah sure. However, when I last counted you've only been imprisoned for about a year and with a crime like yours....You shouldn't be out for another nine hundred ninety-nine years."

Killian stood silently, a smile creeping onto his face. "You're not still with the agency are you?"

"I'm not authorized to tell you that," Lance said as he took another step back.

"How about that boy, do you two still keep in touch?"

"I'm definitely not telling you that."

Killian laughed silently as he looked around. "You probably want to know why I'm here."

Lance stared. 

"Well, do you?" Killian questioned again.

Lance finally spoke up, "I'm assuming that it has something to do with me."

Killian smiled. "I want you back." 

Lance felt tense again.

"I know," Killian continued as he took a step closer to Lance. "We ended things on a bad note. I hurt you. I tried to hurt the people around you."

Lance stood on.

"I wasn't myself. When I'm not with you, things don't make sense. And yes, sometimes I acted out of line, but it was because I couldn't control myself back then. Going to prison, oddly enough, it helped me clear my head. I saw what it was like in there. People there, they're a different kind of cruel. They made me understand the error of my ways."

Killian fell down to his knees. "Please," he begged. "Please forgive me."

Lance looked down at Killian. His heart warmed, but it was not from love. Not again, Lance refused to fall for his tricks. He had endured his torture for far too long. The abuse. Psychological. Emotional. Sometimes even physical. He could never go back to someone like that. He knew now. Killian lied. He lied so many times that one could never believe a truth from him, especially not Lance. All Lance had wanted to do was move on. To be happy with Walter without having this dark presence over him. He just wanted to be happy with those who truly loved him. Killian didn't fit in that picture and he never would. 

In Lance's heart, he felt anger, fury, and pain at Killian doing something like this. He was sure that he had somehow escaped from prison, Killian was quite smart. He knew what he was doing. He always did, but Lance wanted to have the upper hand. His life had been going well and he wanted it to keep on going that way. As much as Lance didn't want to, he knew he needed closure. Even if he didn't feel or believe what would be spoken. He needed the feeling to be gone. He needed Killian to be aware of who was in charge now.

"Killian," Lance began.

Killian looked up. "Yes, love."

"I need you to know something. Despite all that crap, you put me through. All the pain and torture. The sleepless nights and the nightmares. Anything bad that you ever did to me," Lance took a deep breath. "As much as it pains me to say, I forgive you and I will not allow you to control me anymore. I'm done with fearing you. I'm done with thinking about you. I am done with you."

Killian continued to stare up at Lance who in turn looked down at him with power. There was a shared silence between the two before anyone spoke up again.

"Now," Lance continued. "You are aware that I'm going to have to arrest you right."

Killian looked down at his knees and chuckled as he started to get up. "It was really easy you know. They hired a new guy, he was very easy to manipulate."

"Yeah, I'm sure. You're not going to make this difficult for yourself are you."

Killian got onto his feet. 

"Lance!"

The two turned around. It was from Walter. He was standing several feet away from them and in his hands was the grappling hook from the night before.

"Walter," Lance began as he raised his hands. "It's okay buddy, I have everything under control!"

"Lance, it is okay! I will disarm him!" He aimed the grappling hook at Killian, not exactly thinking it through, and pulled the trigger. Like lighting, the hook shot out, hitting Killian square in the face. The hook hit him with such a force that he was knocked back to the ground, unconscious. "Oh my gosh is he okay? I did not mean to do that! I wanted to knock the weapon out of his hands!"

"He didn't have a weapon!" Lance shouted back as he looked at Killian's unconscious body. "But anyway, I'm guessing he's out."

Walter ran up to the larger spy, immediately swallowing him in a hug. "Oh, Lance! I'm sorry it's all my fault!" He cried out.

"I should have been there when you went to fight Kimora! I could have prevented your panic attacks and I could have helped you better at the restaurant. Actually, I should have never even brought you there in the first place! And the present! If I had known, If I was better prepared I would have-"

Before Walter could finish, Lance kissed him hard. Once he broke the kiss he hugged Walter and snuggled his face into the crook of his neck. 

"You talk a lot," Lance spoke softly. "None of this is your fault."

"But," Walter gasped as he wiped the tears from his eyes. "I could have been better. I could have done better. Also, we should really check his pulse, like seriously if he's dead I don't think I would forgive myself."

Lance kissed Walter again as he rubbed his shoulders comfortingly. "He's fine. And so am I, Walter. Thank you, thank you for listening to me."

Walter smiled as Lance hugged him again, snuggling his face into his chest. 

"We should probably call the agency, and like the hospital and maybe like the police," Walter spoke his voice muffled by Lance's torso.

"Haha, yeah we should do that. We should do that."

The two kissed again and suddenly the blinding gleam of red from the car and grappling hook seemed to disappear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END!!!
> 
> Thank you for reading our story! It was short but it was fun to write! Thank you for all those who liked and commented! It really meant a lot to me and encouraged me to keep on writing! You guys are awesome! Likes and comments are much appreciated!
> 
> Bye-bye!! :)


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